The Sweet Release of Death

darwin, Henry Ford

Techno Babble

07/14/2010 02:25 PM Filed in:The Boomtown Rants

A few years ago, man stopped dragging his knuckles, smashed some berries and scrawled on a cave wall a story of the day’s events to those hunkered in the cave with him. It would be simple and to the point: left cave. Ran for my life from the big beast. Killed beast. Return to cave and family. The end. It’s amazing what a few years can do to a species and its environs. Today mankind, womankind (insert your group here as to not offend any particular sect of crybabies) has become such a collection of self absorbed oxygen thieves that the “normal” people can’t wait for Burt Rattan to get us off this crazy rock.

Technology is good when used by experienced and trustworthy folk. When placed into the hands of the common people…well, stand back and let the games begin! Just as the first Model A’s rolled off of Henry Ford’s assembly line, not everyone was able to drive one. Hell, they just got used to their pony. How they gonna get used to something they can’t whip and feed oats to? Well in the immortal words of Darwin, Evolution my dear Watson! Yes kids. Evolution. It’s this crazy concept that the Republicans try to keep locked up in the Tomb of The Narrow Minded. I don’t mean to scare you, but yes we adapt to our surroundings in order to survive. Yes the automobile was a bit scary at first, quite different from the family horse and not as forgiving. I mean uncle Jasper never had to worry about wrapping the horse around the local oak tree after a night at the local saloon. Henry’s blue steel and alcohol was a first class ticket to a closed casket. Oak tree 1 – Uncle Jasper 0. Evolution does not happen overnight no matter how much Madonna tries to teach your kids otherwise. It’s a slow process. Painfully slow. It can become cumbersome when spurts of de-evolving sprout up; Remember Disco? The Flow Bee?

The one benefit of history is the ability to look back and spot the glory and the gory of our illustrious past. The glory moments are there like a favorite relative. The gory stick out like Paris Hilton in an MIT quantum physics class. We can only hope that twenty years from now we are still evolving for the better and not skating around signing YMCA while sporting a Bill Gates hairdo. I’m putting Burt on my Harry and David Christmas list just in case. I hear Mars has a helluva view.

Tags: Burt Ratan, Caveman, darwin, Henry Ford