The Sweet Release of Death

Monster Trucks, Beer, Horse whip, Pacific Northwest

It Happened At The Fair: Part 1

09/01/2010 11:17 AM Filed in:Life on the Outside

It’s State Fair time here in the Pacific Northwest and with that, plenty of my co-workers take the time to trundle on down to the Fair and partake in the consumption of Beer, deep-fried corn on the cob, Monster Trucks and 3rd rate entertainers. The following tale is of co-worker mingling after hours and away from the stifling confines of Corporate Land. The names have been change to protect the overtly amorous. TSROD

The massive crowds corralled through the fields of carnival barkers and swarthy thrill ride attendants. The smell of deep fried food hovered in the air like a thick perfume of failure. These fucking people are driving me crazy! Exclaimed P-diddy Sward to her BBF, D-Mono. Yep quipped D. Lets get a drink she purred. And once that phrase was released, a magical beer garden appeared just beyond the large couple in front of them. Ugh! If these fat asses get out of the way, we could maybe get a drink! Buzzed P. her words cutting through the thick buttery air like a samurai sword. Yeah! Lets get a drink purred D-Mono. As they approached the heaving beer garden, their anticipation was palpable. I can't wait to get a drink! purred D-Mono. Yeah, atoned P, They better not be any creepy guys next to us. Yeah! And I can't wait to get a drink purred D-Mono, sweat building on her upper lip with the thought of golden suds of bliss racing through her head. As the two friends anxiously jockeyed to an open seat in the back, the roar of the Monster Trucks jamboree clamored in the air, and rang home to the heart like a hillbilly national anthem. God I love monster trucks! P-diddy mused. Yeah! And I can't wait to get a drink! Purred little D-mono. As the barmaid slithered herself through the thick crowd towards the pair for their order, P-diddy let out a look of scathing contempt to the barmaid. "what a whore" she let out a screed. "As if" see continued. Yeah! And I can't wait to get a drink! D-mono purred.

As the barmaid approached the pair, a thought of utter disdain filled her trailer park heart, of having to deal with yet another pair of rambunctious lesbians. At least the ones before this duo were cordial and tipped well. She braced herself with the thoughts back to how nice those two were and exercised the idea of maybe turning for them, but stopped short of the idea as one was a Mexican and the other had flowing red hair and carried a horse whip. The gurgle of phlegm attached to the most despicable call out of "eh hem" snapped her out of her L word escape, "I'd like two Pale ales and a Hefe for the little one" directed P-did, the words marching out of her pursed lips like tiny soldiers of hate, Yeah! And I'd like a beer! purred D-Mono. The barmaid took their condescension with a grain a salt and spun her heels back towards the bar. Come here sweets, beckoned P to D with a look that laid her out naked like an artists blank canvas. "I'm gonna own you today" P–Did murmured to D-mono in a fascist tone. Yeah! And I want another drink! Squeaked D-mono. As the two entwined friends held court at the back of the beer garden, those around them gazed upon the pair with fevered regard that bordered on voyeurism. The spectacle that was presented was in line with late night cable precision. As the Monster trucks roared in the distance, P-did's heart raced with the thought of another beer and maybe an elephant ear. Yeah.. Definitely an elephant ear she simmered with the thought. She gazed into D-mono's eyes and pounded out Fuck Yeah! An elephant ear and another beer is gonna kill the pain! Yeah! And I want a drink too! Cooed D-mono As the two received yet another round, P-did espoused of her disdain for the "fucking in-bred fucking hicks that I fucking hate with all of my fucking black, callous, cold fucking heart" Yeah! Maybe they'll buy me a drink chirped D-mono with a sort of drunk cuteness that was delivered like an 8 week old puppy. Shut the fuck up! Pounded P into the table with a total authority that is bred only by 8 years in a Women's prison. Finish your fucking drink bitch! I need an elephant ear. To be continued...

Tags: Monster Trucks, Beer, Horse whip, Pacific Northwest